I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
