Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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