Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
