Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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