omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
