Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
