bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
