you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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