If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
