you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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