She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
