My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
