I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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