And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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