Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
