Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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