fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
