are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
