dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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