Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
