You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
