her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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