I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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