Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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