I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
