And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
