Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
