i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
