im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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