it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
