i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
