Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
