Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
