I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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