he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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