From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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