Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
