Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
