I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
