i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
