Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize