Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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