I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
