the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
