shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
