Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
