sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
