lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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