I hate all girls vehemently.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
