Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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