dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
