I'm really into asian looking animals
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
