This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
