This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
