Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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