Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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