It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
