I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
