got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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