dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
