Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
