he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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