Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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