I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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