I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
