Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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