Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
