I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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