in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
