I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
