and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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