Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
