If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
