YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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