And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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