So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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