That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
