could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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